This week I created a video where I talked about how it can be very tempting for some people to be driven by obtaining status. I wanted to give you some more context around this video and a deeper level insight to think about.
When we think of obtaining status we often think about those who we see that are more successful than ourselves. But there is another kind of status that drives many individuals. I touched on this somewhat in my video in describing “The Inner Ring”.
The reality is that our “inner ring” can be anyone in our lives, that used to be in our lives or absolutely anyone we want to please. Sometimes this drive to please those that are close to us or important to us in some way can drive us down a path of success that is unfulfilling for us. We just don’t want to let them down and feel if we do what we feel we want to that they will be disappointed.
I remember when I first started out ministering. (I knew I wanted to help people and in the church if you want to help people there is basically one way you do it – ministry). So since my understanding at that point in my life was limited as to “how” I could help people I went after being a minister. After all, the ministers in my life were people like Tim Storey who was doing amazing things in Hollywood loving on people, and Benny Perez who told a group of about ten of us that Time Magazine and every other secular news station would show up in the meetings he was planning. Nobody believed him and I had my doubts…I mean we were in the country with nothing but cows. But the day I had a TV Camera in my face was the day I realized anything was possible. I saw so many people come and be loved on I just couldn’t get enough! His brother-in-law is now known as Justin Bieber’s pastor. It was amazing to see the people they were helping.
I remember my first job as a pastor my family was so extremely angry at me that they would call me on the phone just livid. At the end of the phone calls I would find myself on the floor in tears desperately wishing they would approve of my decisions and I know I disappointed them but my drive to help people was greater. (If you did not know I am from a pretty liberal, democratic, Catholic family. You can imagine why they wouldn't approve. It would have been more acceptable if I decided to be a Nun.)
If I had listened to them I would have never learned to speak, I would have never stretched myself to write books, and I would have never learned the skills I have today to progress in my dreams. Sure they were right that I didn’t really belong in the “religious” world as a “minister”. I mean if you are a single woman honestly you don’t have much chance in ministry unless your born into it. But it was a wonderful place to start building my dreams and I got to help a lot of people in the process. I grew super thick skin because of the opposition that I faced and I learned a lot to help me in my current dreams.
I can’t say that I am living the perfect life now that my family has dreamt for me. I think my mom just wants me to get married and have babies like yesterday. But the truth is I have known that I wanted to do the impossible and change people’s lives. To see the impossible done in others. This drives me to such an extreme degree that I would rather work on it sometimes than eat!
Remember when you go after your dreams, no matter where you start and what the process is for you, you just can’t let anyone lead you into pleasing them…no matter how much you regard their opinions. And this actually does take daily practice choosing to be true to yourself because it is so easy to want to be accepted.
There is always tension between what’s really happened in our lives that led us to where we are at and what we think our stories are supposed to sound like. My personal story has two complete separate strings of achievement to it…on the one end going after succeeding as a minister, traveling speaking, writing books and on the other end succeeding at a Big 4 Firm doing business development and specializing in strategic relationship management. Now in an amazing turn of events I have managed to somehow combine my knowledge of business and my love for helping people do the impossible.
Finding our path in life is always a process and it often takes testing different paths out before we realize what we are passionate about.
Sometimes it means stopping what you were going after and reassessing what it is that you really want and what you are really after. But never allow anyone in your chosen “inner ring” to influence your life. Only you know what will make you happy and fulfilled.
Here is my video in case you missed it.
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